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I think sex is disgusting but my mom says my hormones will change my mind. Castillo, 17, says her mom has always been open about puberty and sex.
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In fact, she actually enjoys talking about the subject with her mom because everyone else tends to act grossed out about the subject. According to Whitney, this is what you should be aiming for — informed kids who consider you a go-to resource. While nothing can replace honest, forthright discussion, these can help get the conversation going.
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These things definitely exist, she added, but it's certainly not representative for everyone, and that can get frustrating for people in the non-monogamous community. For example, there are many asexual and demisexual people who consider themselves polyamorous. These are people who don't really consider sex part of how they form romantic relationships, or don't feel sexual desire whatsoever. The way polyamory and non-monogamy does often work is like with constellations or polycules, which refers collectively to all of the people who are in a relationship with one or more other members of the group.
For instance, Winston is dating Jase who has another partner, but Winston is only friends with her. Jase's partner is also seeing someone else. The show 'Unicornland' explored polyamory.
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There are also polyaffective families, which is a term coined by Eli Sheff, an academic expert on polyamory. This is the idea of maintaining a relationship outside of intimate relationships with everyone else you're connected to — exes, co-parents, mutual friends, your partner's other partner, and anyone else. One partner in a polyamorous relationship may also identify as monogamous, and those are called poly-mono relationships.
There isn't any hard data on how successful this tends to be, Winston said, but there are some rather robust online communities of poly-mono people who are happy.
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That's definitely not everybody but it seems like it is possible. Read more: This is why polyamorous people don't feel jealousy.
Then there's solo-polyamorists like Gahran, who foster connections with people and focus on strengthening them. She said she never sees dating as a numbers game. Right now she has two lovers, but also has people in her life she considers her family of choice, including her former spouse. When Mckillop faced discrimination from a colleague at work, he said he wasn't broadcasting his non-monogamy at all.
He had just decided to be open about it, and "people tend to notice when you say 'my wife' and then 'my girlfriend' in quick succession.
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